July 16th 1989
“The moment is as
fleeting and brilliant as that of a falling star ripping through a midnight
sky. For a splintered second the beleaguered mountaineer has conquered nature.
His raised fist is a lightning rod. A surge of adrenaline travels through the
fleshy conduit and explodes in a guttural wail. His battle cry roars down from
the peak, gaining momentum as it travels. The earth shudders on its axis and
even the busiest inhabitant pauses and nods in his direction. Real or imagined
makes no difference; for one luxurious
moment he stands exalted, his boot weighing heavy on the throat of every
obstacle that failed to turn him back.”
It sounded like
something Jack London would have written, and I told him so at the time. While
the ink was still wet on the page Thomas Penny read what he had written. He shared
all of his journal entries with me during our journey up the mountain, but I
suppose this one spoke to me more than most.
Thomas laughed when he
heard his words aloud. “Doesn’t sound much like a factory worker with an eighth
grade education, does it?”
I considered my
reply—thinking harder than I had ever thought about words before.
“I suspect there is
something profound about touching the sky—that it will change a man forever.”
I knew Thomas Penny was
different the moment I met him. He passed through the swinging stainless doors to
the plant like all the others, but he had a swagger to his step, like he already
knew he was going bigger places someday. I liked him plenty when he flipped off
the boss behind his back. On the walk over to my machine Clarence grabbed the
collar of the young man’s shirt and dragged him onto the safe side of the
yellow line. The equipment wasn’t even powered up and Thomas’ boot fell only
inches over the line.
Thomas told me later
that he was pissed that Clarence stretched the collar of his AC/DC tee. We both
laughed as the shirt had undeniably seen better days. I suspected it had more
to do with Thomas’ opposition to being treated like a three-year old being
yanked away from a cookie jar. Nobody liked Clarence, mostly because of nepotism.
He was one of the big-wig’s sons, never worked a day on the floor, and fell comfortably
into a management position. We were all just factory workers, but you have to know
that sort of thing is bound to cause some bent crank-shafts.
By first break—that’s
when you can tell whether you landed a keeper or not. You were supposed to give
the boss the high-sign if they’re weren’t trainable and he would pay them for a
couple hours, hand them a ball cap with the company logo stamped on the front, and
tell them to have a nice life. I felt rotten when that happened, but it didn’t
bother Clarence. Only once did he override my recommendation and it didn’t sit
well with me at all. I called him into the break room and he stuttered and
stammered mostly. His only defense was a tired reminder that he wore the white hard-hat
and mine was yellow. For a minute I thought we would come
to blows over the disagreement, but I was smart enough to know when to cut my
losses. I tugged at his bow-tie and suggested that the polka dots on one side
outnumbered the other and the torque of the imbalance might be what was cutting
off oxygen to his over-sized melon. The remark cost me a write-up, but some
things are simply worth the price of admission. Clarence hated people touching
him or his clothes—had some kind of germ phobia he claimed. That might have
been at the top of his list, but in my opinion Clarence had a lot more problems
than that.
Thomas didn’t talk too
much or too little; seemed capable of doing the work but not overly qualified
or too highly motivated. That was important, because no one wanted to be the
fool that trained his replacement. Over time I learned that you didn’t have to
worry about Thomas trying to outthink or one-up you. I liked a man that would
face up and punch you square in the left eye before he’d slip around the back
and stick a shank in your kidney.
We both worked the
graveyard shift; Thomas because he was a newbie, and me because I had a general
dislike of people. I’d been there five years and managed to stay mostly to
myself. I communicated when the job called for it, but never socialized outside
of work. But Thomas played electric guitar and I banged on the drums a little, so
from time to time we got together in my garage. There were no illusions of
grandeur. We wouldn’t put the symphony orchestra out of business, but after a
twelve-pack of Natty we did do justice to some Metallica and Queensryche.
Thomas was wound tighter
on the inside—more of a risk taker and an adrenaline junkie. I suppose he was
naturally smarter than me too because he already knew that about himself. Thomas
said he wanted to go out with a busted rib-cage, a gash across his forehead, and
a few teeth missin’ instead of laying down quietly somewhere and rotting from
the inside out. I guess watching the machines all those years kind of lulled my
insides to sleep and Thomas Penny was the nitrous that turned this daily-driver
Cavalier into a tubbed-out, Nova SS that lived to eat up pavement in quarter
mile chunks.
Nobody at the factory
took us seriously, said we were just two thirty-some-odds looking to re-write a
chapter of decades past. It was more a recognition that life is slippery and those
that sleep will wake one day staring at the tail end of days slipped past. You
have to be intentional about occasionally grabbing the tail, pulling it back,
and sinking your teeth into the meat of it.
Not that I was looking for
one, but Thomas was as close to a best friend as I ever had, and it was easier
to step out of a corner knowing someone had your back. Within a year I trusted him
completely—enough to follow him up the face of a mountain.
I don’t know exactly where
the words came from; they just seemed to fit right in my mouth. The first time
a man touches the sky really does change him forever. A successful climb lit a
fire in both of our bellies. Over the course of a few years we completed two
more challenges, upping the ante with respect to difficulty and duration.
I suppose if you’re gifted
with numbers, odds can be assigned to anything. It doesn’t take a statistician
to realize the numbers for a mountaineer come out in favor of the mountain, but
that’s part of the reason the agony is bearable and the victories are so sweet.
In my mind’s eye I was
prepared to battle against fatigue and the elements, anticipated the full
frontal assault of oxygen deprivation, and was determined nothing would prevent
me from placing one foot in front of the other until I reached the apex. Although
it had taken fifty percent more in the tank than we had to give, if someone had
been there to witness it, they would have told about two heads bobbing among
the clouds.
Five days into our
descent was when the wheels fell off. We should have reached a low enough
elevation that the heaviest snow was behind us, but a freak squall caught us
off guard. We hunkered down early and took turns throughout the night knocking
the snow from the tent to prevent collapse. Despite using the rock face to our
advantage the winds continued to swirl and howl like a seasoned wolf, lapping against
the tent as though he could already taste our frigid flesh through the fabric. To
make matters worse Thomas had aggravated an old knee injury and after days of
being pinned down the joint was stiffening and swelling significantly. Once the
storm passed I had my doubts about whether the knee would hold out until we
reached base camp.
It is truly amazing how
quickly a fatigued mind begins to unravel. Last night I woke to an awful sound
I could never fully identify, but I am terribly afraid that I heard Thomas
Penny’s spirit snapping in two. By morning my suspicion was all but confirmed
by a notable change in his demeanor. He grumbled and moaned more often about
his knee and the ugly predicament we were in. I didn’t have the heart to mention
that our food supply was running low and that we had only two bottles of
propane left for the heater. I was trying to conserve fuel and ration food
without setting off alarms in his head, but this existence could barely be
considered living. I was doing my damndest to keep the preverbal wolves at bay,
but he’d already let them in.
He cursed me for even trying
to open the journal, but he needed to hear the inspirational words he’d written
on that first trip—we both did. I tried for more than an hour, but my fingers
were frozen nubs and over and over again refused to obey commands. You never
imagine that bit by bit, piece by piece your body will betray you.
I tossed the journal
aside and fell apart for a moment. I welcomed the fleeting warmth of a single tear
as it left the corner of my eye. It sickened me to look at Thomas—he had lain
down quietly and was rotting from the inside out.
Thomas was already asleep
so it made it easier to eat his last portion of food. I placed the final bottle
of propane, drew in a deep steady breath, and made preparations for our escape
from this nightmarish and brutal land.
_____________________________
A group
of young men struggled, plodding forward up the incline.
“Looks
like the remnants of an old tent ahead.”
“And
look in the overhang directly above it—lodged up there between the two rocks.
There’s a corner sticking out—looks like a beat up journal. Grab it and let’s
check it out. We’re due for a five minute break anyhow.”
The
five climbers gathered in a circle to inspect the discovery.
“This
is kinda creepy, reading someone’s journal.”
The one
next to him punched his arm. “They obviously left it where someone could find
it.”
“Looks
like a pretty detailed account of two climbing buddies that started in 1989.”
“What
are you waiting on—read the last entry, will ya?”
“OK…OK,
hang on a second, let me find it.”
May
15 1994
Things
did not go as planned, but a mountain makes no guarantees, implied or otherwise,
and she will swallow you whole if you let her. The blizzard has not let up, we
are out of food and propane, but we will not leave on her terms. Please take a
moment and read the entry from July 16, 1989 and marvel at my friend’s profound
words.
In
a few minutes I will load my friend, Thomas Penny, onto my back because I have
watched him fall lower than any friend should ever witness. I will make my way
to the nearest outcropping and in a final burst of energy will leap over the edge,
and we will both reach out our arms and touch the sky one last time. Touching
the sky will change a man forever.”
“Woah…that’s
intense. From this point forward, touching the sky is our theme, fellas. Into
the belly of the beast we go!”
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