Tuesday, October 9, 2007

Writers Island ------ A Brilliant Passing

Lush green leaves
Paint distant hills
With little remorse
Comes frost that kills
Resisting death
Hue by hue,
Brilliant moments
Remain but few
Undertakers, disguised as gusty breeze
Reveal again the barren trees


Becca said...

"Resisting death~hue by hue..."

Love this line :)

Lovely poem, that really captures the feel of autumn.

paisley said...

this feels so much more like home to me than the beauty of the trees in all their fall glory... here fall is truly rebirth,, from the barren browns of summer.....

Rose Dewy Knickers said...

I like the 'Undertakers, disguised as gusty breeze'.



gautami tripathy said...

I liked the play of words...

tumblewords said...

resisting death hue by hue...and... undertakers disguised as.. Wonderfully visual lines!

Dan said...

Thanks for all of your comments. I've yet to have time to check out the new posts, but I'm getting to it. This creative writing class is consuming by life!!

Gillian @ Indigo Blue said...

Standing up clapping, how DID you get all that, into such a small space. That was a feature film, el condensed!

Anna said...

I really appreciate the rhythm in the poem. It makes such a difference but is too often forgotten in modern poetry.

Secondly, I have answered your comment about my poem at http://freepoemsonline.blogspot.com/2007/09/slavia.html

And thank you for your input!

_Soulless_ said...

Resisting death
Hue by hue

Those words do linger; quotable lines. ^_^ My first time here, and I've been relishing the read of other posts as well. I find your skill in rhyming remarkable (definitely not overpowering) in that it serves as apt rhythm to a reading of the tales in your poems. I've most enjoyed "Corners", "Tiny Fractures", "Gardens of Worry", "Confectioner's Dream" (such a treat to read -- must be my top favorite so far), "Spring Cleaning."